Senior Moments... of a Gardener
This might happen to you all… it's already happened to me!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A A A D D - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car I forgot to put in the garage last night, and decide the car really needs washing. As I pull the hose around the house to the driveway, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the cup of coffee that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coffee aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize I left my computer running, answering emails on gardening, when I take a sip of the coffee, it's cold, so I decide I should put it in the microwave to warm it up again.
As I head toward the kitchen with the cup of coffee, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the coffee down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses laying on the counter, I've been searching for them all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll add some fresh water to the vase of flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
----the garden didn't get any water,
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----the garden emails havn't been answered,
----there is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter,
----the flowers in the vase still don't have enough water,
----there is only 1 check left in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----now I can't find my glasses again,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mails. Do me a favor, will you? Send a link to this page… to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
P.S. I just remembered, I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!!!!!!!!!
Senior Moments… make them memorable!
This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota,
Florida…
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,
found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her
shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her
voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation.
They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into
the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she
could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned
on her why… For the same reason she did not understand why there was a
football, a Frisbee and two 12 packs of beer in the front seat!
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces
farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and
drove to the police station to report her mistake.
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He
pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a
car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet
tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it a memorable one!!!!
